Funkey folklore reports it like this - a long time ago the Stitch were trusted with the great secret of King Funkankhamun of the Golden Age. It was a secret so great it could bring down the King, his Golden Age and maybe all of Terrapinia. As protectors of the this great secret, the Stitch kept away from most other Funkeys, spending their time lurking in graveyards, peacefully cultivating and gathering mushrooms. They were so successful in keeping this secret, that all Funkeys started entrusting their secrets to the Stitch. They would follow other Funkeys around, learn the secrets and then store them for safe keeping.
After years of this behavior, the Stitch evolved to having lips sewed shut, an eye for danger, and no heart so that they can never be tempted to tell their secrets. If what they knew got out . . .
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